To anonymous victim’s inquiry
Dear Friend,
Being discarded by a narcissist is perhaps the worst thing that can happen to you. In response to your loving someone, your spirit has been stolen. Nobody who hasn’t experienced narcissistic abuse will understand, and likely your network of friends has disappeared. In the midst of this impossible situation, what I’m going to say will sound impossible, but it is a beautiful truth: Being free of a narcissist is also the best thing that could happen to you! This is the universe doing you a favor. This is the life force, or God, or whatever goodness you believe in, taking away from you the addictive poison you’ve been drinking. The withdrawal will be tough, but on the other side, after you grieve the loss of the love that never existed, when the mention of the narcissist’s name stirs no reaction in you whatsoever, you will find your best self.
Everything has been trying to tell you for some time that this relationship is toxic—your heart, your brain, your physical body, your subconscious, your dreams, your pets, your friends and family (if they knew), even the inanimate objects around you. You have been sending out desperate pleas to the universe for peace, happiness, and love. You can’t have those things with a narcissist, and deep down, you know it. The narcissist discarding you is the answer you seek. It sure doesn’t seem like it now, I know. But, many resources are available to you, including forums for the victims of narcissistic abuse. Acquaint yourself with them. They are full of people who do understand what you’re experiencing. Read as much as you can about Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and have no contact with the narcissist so that you can heal. You will be surprised how amazing and fulfilling life can be. When you stop giving your time and energy to people who have no interest in you, you make room for those who are more like you—kind, generous, and loving. Don’t let the behavior of one disordered person douse your light! That behavior has nothing to do with you. I feel for you and wish you the best.